Dating Tips From Orit Arfa

http://lukeford.net/blog/?p=3119 Ask a woman out on a date. What a concept! This means, don’t just say, "Oh, by the way, I’m going to a party Saturday night, want to come?" This also means, don’t send an e-mail (or worse, a text message) saying, "Hey, wanna do coffee sometime?" It means phone her or say to her in person, very specifically: "I’d love to take you out. What are you doing tomorrow?"

How Do You Make Good People?

http://lukeford.net/blog/?p=3095 My travails as a babysitter remind me of the need to keep Jews strapped in their halachic seat-belts so they don’t run around our spinning globe infecting the dumb goyim with transgressive notions of socialism and sodomy.

I Had A Nervous Breakdown Live On My Cam

http://lukeford.net/blog/?p=3126 I got a fit of the giggles while trying to do my voice exercises and imagining what it would be like for a nice Jewish girl to go on a date with her moral leader. I plan to have more such spontaneous and uncontrollable breakdowns live on my cam every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 5:30 p.m. sharp.

Taking Israel Lobby To Israel

http://lukeford.net/blog/?p=3123 In recent decades U.S. Middle East policy has been strongly influenced by the political activities of the "Israel lobby," a loose coalition of groups and individuals that works openly to encourage the "special relationship" between the United States and Israel. This talk will identify the main features of this special interest group, explain how it works to shape U.S. policy, and suggest that its influence has been unintentionally harmful to Israel itself.

United By Platitudes

http://lukeford.net/blog/?p=3124 Two months ago, the Rev. Eric Lee and Daphna Ziman were embroiled in a high-profile feud. Ziman, a Jewish philanthropist, had written a widely circulated e-mail accusing Lee of having launched into a hateful tirade attacking Jewish influence in Hollywood at a banquet she attended.

I Hate Myself!

http://lukeford.net/blog/?p=3112 I've made a massive media buy in all the major markets to launch this attack ad on myself. I'm mad as heck and I'm not going to take it anymore. Here's why I hate myself.

At The Top Of Every Hour, I'm Gonna Pop A Balloon Until My Demands Are Met!

http://lukeford.net/blog/?p=3099 I am sick and tired! I won't take it anymore. Do what I want or I'll kill a balloon live on my cam. Can't take the killing any more? Then stop thwarting my desires, Emma!