Fast Travel

Christopher Elliott writes:

What's the fastest way to board a plane?

A free-for-all, like Southwest Airlines? Boarding by window, middle seat or aisle, like United Airlines? Generally speaking, airline boarding procedures are as short on logic as they are long.

You don't have to be an overpaid airline analyst to know that the airline industry would prefer passengers feel good about the boarding process than for it to actually work better.

Do you really think allowing an elite passenger to board at any time is going to speed up the boarding process? Here are five secrets for boarding a plane quickly.

Fact is, the lighter your load, the faster you'll board. And the faster the passengers standing in line behind you will be able to board, too.

The savviest air travelers stand in the boarding area at least one zone before they're called. (If you store your bag in the front of the plane, you're guaranteed a spot for your luggage.) In my experience, most of the altercations between passengers and crew members involve luggage disputes during boarding (www.elliott.org/the-travel-critic/fight-or-flight/). "It was absolutely proven that carry-on luggage is the single biggest inhibitor of efficient boarding," remembers Robert Wing, a software consultant from Penfield, N.Y. "The planes that I was on during that time period, both large and small, boarded in literally half the normal time." I've pondered the elimination of carry-on luggage (www.elliott.org/the-travel-critic/ban-the-bins/) in the past, but Wing doesn't think an extended ban on carry-ons has a prayer. Boarding the plane faster is not difficult. Brian Cohen, a senior information technology specialist based in Costa Mesa, Calif., says airlines need to reform their boarding procedures by strictly controlling which group boards the plane, practicing better crowd control, enforcing carry-on limits and, darn it, at least pretending they care.